The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She even gives head with a lisp.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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