I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
