We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
