The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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