I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize