i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
