the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
