Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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