Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
