glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
