My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
