There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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