I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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