I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
