she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
