i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize