goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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