Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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