She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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