saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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