Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
