It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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