I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
