Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
