A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
