Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
