Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
