Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
50% drunk capacity currently
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
