We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
