Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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