and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Congratulations! We have a period
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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