There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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