I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
