Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
