Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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