dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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