Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How's work?
Spinning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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