I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
