we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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