Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
