You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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