well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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