the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
