You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
