glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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