Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
