the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
