..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
