Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
