I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My hand turned me down
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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