I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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