Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize