piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
