I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize