can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
