Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
