so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
