would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My balls are so social today.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
