my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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