i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
