oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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